Subtlety Theatre

Mostly, it's been fun.

xoxo
E.

So, I haven't livejournaled in a while. This might make this post seem as if it is important. Really, it isn't important at all, because I'm talking about an imaginary land of pixies and rapper beefs, rockstars, fake blood, and backing tracks, which neither makes sense nor has to. This is a world where Perez Hilton is considered important, women date Kermit, and Madonna is seen as a talented contributor to the industry. This is a world, as good as it is, where everything is not so much upside down, but tumbling over and over again, at a speed just fast enough that everything seems like it might be stable, but isn't quite.

I want to preface the rest of this by saying that I think Taylor Swift is not only beautiful, brave and talented, but a fantastic role model for young people, and old people, and in between people, and probably a Real Human Being. Good on her, I'm sure she'll have a long and fantastic career. Perhaps she'll even live to embarrass herself with a very self-centred tribute speech for one of the Jonas Brothers when (probably Joe) leaps off of this mortal coil with all the theatre and alarming sexuality of the late, great Michael*.

So anyway - guys, Kanye West is a dick, but in another way, might not one also contend that he is a champion of free speech? How many times in your life have you thought, "Shit, that don't seem right, how did that piece of crap** win out over that dazzling masterpiece***, I should say something."? Right? A lot. He took it a step further, he got out of his seat and walked up on stage and said, "Guys, wait a second, I think you have collectively made a mistake."

It shouldn't make a difference that I personally disagree with him, he's a brave man for getting up there and asserting his opinion. I do agree that he selfishly ruined the moment for Taylor and in the process horribly embarrassed her, which is completely and utterly unfair. I do agree that he is arrogant and that his hair looked ridiculous. I do acknowledge that, as a famous fellow, he would have had plenty of opportunities to compliment Beyonce's video and suggest that it should have won when there wasn't a young woman on the stage experiencing something special.

But when George Bush was elected (either term), didn't you just want to waltz up on stage during the inauguration, pluck a microphone from the nearest black-clad wanker and scream, "Fuckers, you cocked it up, this is not how democracy works."

Even allowing the possibility of a fair vote that fully represents the population and the complexity of a decision making process, doesn't the dissenting voice, no matter how small or controversial, deserve and need to be heard? Isn't that the only way we can truly strive toward something more like an ideal government?

Sure, today it's MTV, but what will it be tomorrow? Shit, it might be the muchmusic awards, what would we do then?

Emx

*Hutchence or Jordan, take your pick.
** I like the video, Taylor Swift is very pretty/America's Sweetheart/Down to Earth/Real Human Being. The video brings a sense of wholesomeness back to music videos. If I had children or a younger sibling interested in anything other than Pokemon I would be proud of them being into her.
*** Beyonce's video was pretty good too but also personally for me not video of the year or whatever.

I had a dream the other night that I think more or less sums up my life; It is night time, I am outside. I know that the world is ending. Somebody shadowy, who I vaguely recognise but who's face I can't see brushes past me, nudges my hand. They lead me to a parking lot, there are street lamps, but though they are working, they cast no light. There is no moon or stars. There are hundreds of cars, in every direction, stretching out in straight lines that, whether because of the darkness or because of the immensity of the parking lot, I can't see the end of. The shadowy figure says, "If you can find the red car, the world won't end." There is a moment where I think this task should be simple (instinctively, I know that there is only one red car, frustratingly, I know that it is close), and then I am reminded of the largeness of the parking lot, and then I notice that in the dry lack of light, every single car just appears a different shade of grey. Misguessing would be disastrous.

I struggle with this sort of unhappy, nihilistic inability to distinguish things - everything is shades of grey for me. I want things to be more black and white. I just want things to be easier. I don't want to inadvertently fuck anything up because of my inability to differentiate, but I'm stuck in this perpetual, colour-sucking evening. I'm desperate for a little bit of perceptual sunshine.

Analogously, I think I rarely take firm stances on issues. Real issues. Issues that matter - firm stances on issues such as the quality of Britney's breasts & the stupidity of the reaction to A/H1N1 i'm happy to provide ("It's just like the 1918 Spanish Flu Pandemic, we're all going to die, we're all going to die" - ummm... well, I'm not going to say there aren't similarities, but you know what's totally dissimilar? THIS IS NOT 1918. ANTIVIRALS HAVE BEEN INVENTED NOW, THEY WORK OKAY MOST OF THE TIME, PRETTY MUCH YOU DON'T HAVE HEAPS TO WORRY ABOUT, JUST WASH YOUR HANDS AND SHUT UP). But I think... in terms of serious things... well, I'm not sure I ever really commit.

I'm also becoming unsure as to how enticing my extensive knowledge of copyright law and plagiarism is to potentially interesting people who I want in my life. Do I regret my extensive research? I still think it was time well spent. Do I regret dropping a paragraph of nerd-talk and bizarre knowledge into a conversation with the Beautiful and Briliant Fabien? Yes. Plenty.

Em.

Two very important things happened today:

1. My boss got arrested for running around naked and drugged to his eyebrows in the city centre. I keep picture him, joyful, penis flapping in the wind. It brings weird, nervous chuckles to my chest.

2. 72 clean wire racks fell on me. I hurt everywhere. I think I'm probably being punished for laughing at said Boss' plight, but I do not mind at all. Also, they fell off The Broken Rack, which I have been petitioning against (and hiding) for six months.

We put up (even more) horrendous easter decorations. Bunny Ear time is upon us. I feel like one of those stupid girls who think that devil-horns headbands are a "cute, eccentric" every day fashion accessory when I wear those stupid things. In protest, I have sticky-taped a cottonball chicken to my work hat and i'm thinking about tying a string of balloons in gold and purple around my waist (Cadbury Colours, doncha know?).

Sound Relief has been amazing to listen to all day, I'm excited to watch a few snags here and there tonight.

Jenny came over and cooked us pizza and bought us some eggs from her chickies. It has been too long since I have had eggs, but these ones are guilt free because the chickies lay them anyway, and they aren't fertilised, and they are the fattest happiest chickens in the world and I'm just so excited for poached eggs, I am. Tomorrow. It's on. Like John.

Night chooks, hope everyone is happy and healthy.

em. x.

Jesus.

I've been trying to update for about a week. I feel like there's a lot I want to say, but at the moment it's pretty difficult to find a good reason to do anything, and when I'm not doing anything with myself, there just doesn't seem to be any reason to try and write about myself, or write what I'm thinking, or write at all.

So: Thoughts.

First of all, Twilight. I kept quiet for so long in the secret, personal hope, that everybody would see that nonsense for what it truly is: Nothing more than the world's most successful mary-sue. It's ridiculous that this is being recognised as literature. As something to love. Worst of all: As something to hope for. I'm sorry, my loves, there is something better for you out there than a bitchy vampire who really wants to eat you. There just is. Furthermore, you're all much, much lovelier people than Bella.

At any rate, I completely miss how it is "romantic" or a "love story". This is the story, right? Girl sees Boy, Boy smells Girl. Girls is clumsy, but very intelligent and tragically beautiful. Boy is in EVERY WAY perfect. It is clear to everyone why Girl falls for Boy, but nobody really knows why Boy goes for Girl, because she is a bitch and completely socially deficient. This is never explained. Every other boy she meets is in love with her. Four books ensue.

The worst part about it is the characters don't even seem human (or... vampire...y). It just upsets me. There's so much good stuff to read.

On the topic of amazing things to read, I'm in love with the $9.95 penguin books. I can read twice as much, and it's helping me plow through some classics. I just finished "The Beach". I can't say I loved it. That is the joy of books that only cost $9.95.

I had a fairly light-on allergy spring and thought I was home free, but for the last week or so I've been itchy and sneezy and weepy as hell. The weepy and the itchy is the worst because I look permanently distressed, with red-rimmed eyes. It's all too sensitive for make-up, so I spend most of my time walking out of theatres, hoping it makes me look emotional and passionate about film.

It's sort of not working.

I dyed my hair red. So far Jack wins the bidding wars with an off the cuff "You look like the emo Mary Jane." Although Tom got in with a pithy, "oh did you dye it to go and see your favourite movie High School Musical III?"

Every year for christmas for about four years it seems that somebody gets me the body-shop peppermint foot care kit. The crazy thing might be that I'm usually a little obsessive about foot care. It makes me feel deficient in the area of foot care that every year I get this... foot care... kit. Although I do love the peppermint foot lotion so it is nice to get a yearly top-up.

Also at the moment I'm in love with my Laura Mercer Creme Brulee bath collection. It just - oh. If I could have a vat of it to lay in forever, that would be okay with me. More than okay. It doesn't even smell good enough to eat, it smells TOO good to eat. I don't even like Creme Brulee. I want to lick myself every time I use it.

I want to get into "How I Met Your Mother" but I just can't be bothered. Apparently, Boris quite likes it. I must say, that doesn't tempt me. Still: Neil Patrick Harris.

As somebody who, as a child, watched Doogie Howser, M.D. It seems a funny thing to say that. But, shut up: NPH. Forever.

Did anybody used to watch "Ed" that bowling alley lawyer show? I used to love that show. I really miss that show. It sort of just disappeared from the time I used to watch it, and I suppose I didn't make any effort to find it again. It probably wasn't even that good, but it made an impression at the time.

There is an infomercial trying to sell me the "ped-egg", a grater/exfoliator for feet. One of the gifts they're "throwing in" out of the goodness of their hearts is a nail buffer, which they're billing as "amazing".

It sort of felt good to write this even though it's nothing at all. Maybe the saddest thing about it is I have nothing to talk about except tv shows, lotion, and books.

xxx.

:].

/cheapglue

i don't tweet frequently. but i will try to do it some.

love em.x

1) Think of the first word that comes to mind when you think of me.

2) Go to Google Images and search for that word.

3) Reply to this post with one of the pictures on the first page of results (don't tell me the word).

4) Put this in your own journal so that I can do the same.

Guys!

Crying while eating: www.cryingwhileeating.com

hope you are healthy and happy.

love em.

I know I only use this blog to bitch and whinge. Half the time, I reckon, I don't make sense. That's not me, I don't think. Usually, I'm pretty happy. But I'm really lonely and sad tonight, and I think I feel this way a lot, and for some reason it's really easy to be honest about that on here than just generally.

Anyway, Olympics: They are okay. How good was our waterpolo bronze? Waterpolo is close to my heart, I think its a great sport, I'm very proud of our team. The swimming has left me a bit cold this year. Michael Phelps is exciting, though. I feel generally proud of him, in a human way. Stephanie Rice is very pretty. Why are the Olympic outfits always so horrendous? Did the guy who designed the Qantas uniforms design them?

I hope that the little Chinese chick doesn't get disqualified for being too young, Nastia from America seems like a bit of a bitch, really. She gave off a bad vibe. Nasty Nastia.

xx.

Computer: $400
Richard Dawkins' DVD Boxset: $37
Staying up all night transcribing an hour long interview between Dawkins and Alister McGrath: I'd want to say, priceless, and a point I'd really want to stress is that you can't really put a price on that.

SubAudible Hum

They are awesome.

In five minutes I'm going to be late to school! toodles.

standingtrial:



I made you two bumps kissing!

I got a present and it isn't even my birthday or nothing!

It's a panda hugging a pig!



<3 standingtrial

I'm working for Optus when the new Iphone drops tomorrow. I think it will be fun, not to mention I think it will be paying me a bunch of money. I was thinking about buying an Iphone, not for any longing for its features - the only things that I really like that it does my phone does anyway, and I have an Ipod for the rest - but because I love playing with the slidey-touch-screen features. I did briefly have a touch screen phone on lend from my friend which I absolutely hated, but I find that I do not have the same problems with touchy-pod. Scrolls so fine. Also because the first time I listened to Graduation was on a ipod touch. Good morning!

Meme from assume

Ask me a question about each of the following:


<b>1. Friends.</b> <b>2. Sex.</b> <b>3. Music.</b> <b>4. Drugs.</b> <b>5. Love.</b> <b>6. LiveJournal.</b>


alright. alright back to homework. Or maybe back to meeting Michael for lunch! Who knows!

em.x.

pees: I just got salmonbotted. What...whatever that really means? I looked it up. But I don't feel too much the wiser. anyway. it wasn't very interesting cause i wasn't sort of at my computer. so they just said hi.

interesting.

It turns out the cure is homemade chutney - nobody is shocked.

There is still no cure for sadness or loneliness, but we are working on something with jam, hugs, and messages printed on the bottom of glasses of alcohol.

I am going back to Age of Empires III now. The cure is also KILL THE FRENCH. NO WAIT, KILL THE BRITISH. WE ARE CHINESE. NOW WE ARE IN THE AMAZON, I AM PRETTY SURE THIS IS NOT HISTORICALLY ACCURATE.

( Cut for coherency )

love you, probably.

A couple of months ago, Marky and I actively stopped Jessie buying drugs mid-deal. For some reason, that's enough to make my principal tell me that i'm in "expulsion level trouble."

I just don't know what to do anymore.

this week has been horrible. How is stopping her getting drugs the wrong thing to do? I wasn't trying to solve Jessie's problems, or presuming I was capable of doing that. I was just trying to stop her getting drugs. Apparently I'm in trouble for not informing the school - i'm not about to start snitching on all the people who were involved with this. And now I have. And just.

i'm too tired to think about this i'll finish it in the morning.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicise those you intend to read I forgot to do this and I'm not starting now, but I marked some of them.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them

( Listish Meme )

Puppy is someish sick, still. He's just kind of sleepy, still, not eating, still... he has a fluid filled subcutaneous something. I dunno.

Also, there's lots of drama that's about Jessie and Jay right now, which has become drama about everyone. Also, this ridiculous girl named Hannah has been. Draining. Also. I don't know.

I just don't want to deal with anything right now. People are ridiculous and counter-productive, and self-preservation is clearly a myth.

Anyway - love you all!!

xx

Bear is still in hospital. The surgery yesterday turned up nothing. They had thought it was a bowel obstruction, and put him into surgery immediately because his heart rate dropped to about half of what it should be. There was no obstruction, there was nothing at all in his stomach. His stomach was convulsing, which Ellie said was unusual. She said she had no idea what's wrong with him. She said she's worried. He's been sedated most of the day, for lots of x-rays and just to keep him stable. Apparently he's up and about tonight, wanting to stay out of the cage. He's lost 20% of his body mass in a week.